I should buy stock in Kleenex...

I have a cold. An annoying cold. It's the sort of cold that could possibly not be a cold but you know it's a cold because people tell you it's a cold...and I sorta feel like shit. But, in a very strange way, I wish it were a real doozy of a cold. You know, the kind that has you puking and hacking and sweating. Because then I would have something to bitch about. I mean, who really feels bad for someone with a stuffy nose and sinus pressure? If I had a bad cold, I could call in sick to work and not feel guilty about it.

And why do they call it a cold? My mother always said that it was because I went out into the cold without proper attire. I have this book, Why Do Men Have Nipples?, and it says this about that:

Does Wet or Cold Weather Cause a Cold? A friend once called to ask if she could have caught a cold from touching a goat at a petting zoo. This is not a common question, but many people do ask if any of the following things can cause a cold: sleeping in front of an open window; getting a chill; sleeping in front of a fan; getting caught in the rain; sleeping with a wet goat in front of a fan in the rain. The answer is no. Cold or wet weather does not cause a cold, but nobody seems to want to accept this. The common cold is caused by a virus. These viruses are everywhere and it is difficult to avoid them. When you are exposed to someone who has a cold, you are more likely to get ill yourself, so be careful about close contact and definitely wash your hands. Not getting enough sleep or eating poorly can also reduce your resistance to infection. Remember that antibiotics won't fight your everyday cold. Antibiotics work only against bacteria. To take care of a cold - rest, eat well, and a little chicken soup couldn't hurt.

So, that's that.

I think I'm going to take a hot shower, put on my slippers and eat some chicken soup.