Tuesday, April 10, 2007

"Bright light city's gonna set my soul on fire!"

To say that I've been neglecting this blog is a falsehood. I have written volumes at work only to realize that I was unable to post to this blog and, consequently, have the posts deleted. My witty remarks are lost somewhere in cyber-land. Needless to say, I am refreshing my post from April 10th to let you all know what "Vegas plans" we have in mind.

(I need to comment on my "lost" blogs. Although I KNEW and subsequently posted about my inability to post from work, I still tried. I literally wrote 1,000 word essays on the everyday goings-on of Rockin' Joey D to no avail. I thought, "maybe this time it will work." I was wrong and utterly pissed off that I contracted carpal tunnel trying to entertain you, my loyal readers. I trucked on regardless and at least vented...if only for my own good. Rest assured that the posts I made were both creative and very, very entertaining indeed.)

Moving on...

Jamie and I are going to Vegas! I have only been there two times but Jamie has NEVER been. It seems unfathomable that a 37.5 year old man has never been to Vegas, but I digress. We're fucking going to Sin City, baby!

The first time I was there I didn't want to go. I hated the idea of actually spending CHRISTMAS in a town known for whores, booze and gambling. (To be honest, that's a lie. I didn't want to be around prostitutes...the booze and gambling are just fine with me.) Here's a letter I wrote to the place I stayed following my first visit:

OK, I thought I had the letter but I was wrong. I don't remember what computer I typed it on and it obviously wasn't this one. Regardless, it was a very nice letter describing how I didn't want to go but fell in love with the place. I won (and spent) lots of money but came away a winner and got TONS of comps out of the deal (comps that I was unable to utilize month after month). They were impressed with my letter, to say the least.

I obviously loved our vacation...with or without you reading the letter.

I wrote this letter in hopes of accruing more comps. I was planning a trip to LV with my Grandma and Aunt Eunice. I used one of the "three free nights" comps they offered me but we wanted to stay for five nights. I called the hotel/casino and lied. Yes, I admit, I lied. I told them that I had the offer for three nights at their place and another offer for two free nights at a different hotel/casino. It was a lie but they took it hook, line and sinker. They comped me FIVE nights for FREE...and the letter got me a free upgrade to a poolside suite...plus $200 cash when I checked in! Letters (well written, kiss ass, kick ass letters) work!

We all went and had a nice time...although I lost all my money in the first 36 hours I was there. Needless to say, I came home happy (who goes to Vegas and doesn't have a good time??) Plus, I got to go to LA to see SueBee for two days and LOVED it.

Well...I kept getting TONS of offers for free rooms, lots of free gambling money, free this/free that. BUT...I couldn't afford a plane ticket out there. (That's that rub. They're fucking expensive!) I let my comp offers keep piling up but they all have expiration dates on them. I since stopped receiving the offers.

A few months ago, Jamie got a great job and enabled us to actually take the vacation of our choice. Although we still want to be frugal (who wants to be extravagant if you don't have to be) we chose to "do" Vegas. So, what did I do?? I wrote another letter. That one IS below:

Dear Mr. [So and So],

I am writing you today as a loyal patron and promoter of [your hotel/casino]. Although I have only been to Vegas twice, I stayed at your wonderful casino both times and was completely satisfied and overwhelmed. (The second time I came, I didn't leave your building the entire week!)

My Mother and Stepfather also stay exclusively at [your hotel/casino] (they've been there nearly ten times!) I think I've also convinced my Vegas-loving Aunt and Uncle to stay at [your hotel/casino] on their next vacation this fall.

I must share this story with you: During my first Vegas trip, I stayed up day and night gambling at your casino. I had wonderful chats with many of your staff and cocktail waitresses. There was one cocktail waitress, in particular, with whom I carried on friendly conversations. She is originally from Ontario, Canada and I live right across the border in Buffalo, New York. I mentioned this to her when I saw her name tag and we shared some interesting stories. Since I often gambled in her "territory", she learned what I drank and graciously brought me a cocktail when she saw me playing. It was always nice to see her and I gave her a hearty tip on the final day of my vacation. Six months later I returned to Vegas and saw this nice cocktail waitress again. I mentioned to her that I had met her at Christmastime and how pleasant she was. I told her that I was from Buffalo and how we had chatted about Niagara Falls among other things. She pointed to me, with a big smile, and said "Seven/Seven" (my drink of choice). I was astonished and very warm-hearted. Not only had she remembered me but also what I liked to drink! It made me so very happy and I share that story every time I tell someone about [your hotel/casino]!

My purpose for writing today is two-fold: I have been unable to afford a trip to Vegas since then. Each time I received a letter or postcard from [your hotel/casino], I was excited at the phenomenal offers but disappointed that I would not have the money or time to make the trip. Ironically, I have since stopped receiving letters or postcards from your casino but I now have the money to take a vacation. The old adage "get while the getting's good" has finally caught up with me.

I am planning a trip to Las Vegas this June. We plan on arriving June 18th and staying for four nights (through June 22nd). I have already purchased our airfare but I have refrained from making hotel reservations until I wrote to you.

The truth of the matter is, although I prefer to stay at [your hotel/casino] exclusively, I have been researching hotel deals online and I have found some attractive offers at competing hotels. (I'm sure that, had I been to Vegas and stayed at [your hotel/casino] recently, I would still be receiving your offers in the mail and it pains me that I was unable to do so.) It is my sincere desire that, as I have been a loyal supporter and an enthusiastic promoter of [your hotel/casino], you might be able extend a special offer to me for my upcoming vacation. I would hate to miss out on another wonderful time at [your hotel/casino]...and I'd really like to see if that cocktail waitress still knows what I like to drink!

It is my desire to finalize plans in the next week or so. If there is anything you're able to do to ensure my vacation is spent at your casino, I would be grateful and very excited! My contact information is below and please feel free to call me at any time should you have any questions.


OK, so...that letter worked too. Although I hadn't been to Vegas in nearly two years, the nice man, Mr. [So and So] worked me a deal. He said, and this is another quote, the following (sent to me eight minutes after I sent him the previous letter in e-mail form):

It has been awhile since we have seen you and you certainly are welcome back. Based on your casino play of 2 years ago I will offer you a room complimentary for 3 nights and the 4th night at our discounted casino rate of $75 arrival June 18th & departure June 22nd. If you would like to book I will need a credit card number.

Well, Hell's bells if I didn't ring him up and give him a credit card number. While I was talking to him (he was VERY nice...not to mention the Vice-freekin-President of Marketing for this certain hotel/casino) he told me that the $75 casino rate for the fourth night was technically a technicality that would be comped as well. I...WAS...THRILLED.

I have to say that I lied in the letter I sent him. I hadn't booked our flights yet. But I was bound and determined to get an equally exciting deal.

Moving on, again...

Jamie and I went to my Aunt and Uncle's house for some Vegas advice and we searched for flights (following my glorious display of self-appreciation). We plan on driving down to my Dad's house for Father's Day and flying out the following Monday. We searched and searched and found flights between $249 and $329 round trip, with one stop, per person. We all thought this was a good deal but I didn't book because I thought something better would come along.

A few days later I was spending my time at work searching for better deals. I clicked onto Southwest's website and found the...best...fucking...deal...ever...ever...and ever! My Dad lives near Washington, DC and actually works at Dulles Airport. I found a flight, NON-stop, for $99 each way, per person. I booked the damn thing immediately.

Color me happy! This trip (not counting gambling and spending money) costs less than $500. That's less than $100 per day...INCLUDING airfare!!!!!!!

Nobody believes us. They are jealous. I don't blame them.


Once I knew for certain that we were goin' a'gamblin' where what happens there stays there, I started google'n and search'n all the Vegas sites. I became a subscriber to the Las Vegas Advisor which lead me to Cocktail Doll's website which lead me to numerous others. I need to digress again...

Dollie, the woman behind www.cocktaildoll.com, is awesome. If you visit her site you will realize that she is not only a nice girl but a VERY smart person as well. She's an honest-to-goodness Vegas cocktail waitress. She tells you how it is and what you should do. She is a brilliant writer and gets her point across better than anyone I know. Her sheer brilliance forced me to e-mail her and tell her that I adore her. She replied and we've since become unoffical "Will and Grace" friends. I have no doubt that we will marry and have many, many children...kidding (but only 50% so.)

My dear friends, I am God-spanking excited. I will write more. I will bore you to death with my excitement. For now, though, I will practice my video poker skills on Bob Dancer's newest strategy/teaching game, "Video Poker for Winners!"

Live long and prosper...and go to Vegas damnit!! Visit the sites I shared with you, too!

(By the way...I didn't want to tell you where I stayed and got the comps...that could prove stupid of me...I like getting the comps and I don't want them to read this little blog and deny me.)

(By the way again...I realized that I said I "lied" about four or five times in this blog post. Call them little white lies...I obviously spent TONS of money to be offered comped rooms in the first place. If I spend the money to EARN the damn things, the least they can do is believe my little white lies in hope that I'll return and throw more money into their ever-burning fire pit that gambling casinos promote and thrive on.).



Anonymous said...

Well... what are they?


Anonymous said...

Vacation plans ??? I know them don't I ..... love Aunt Helen

Kate said...

Remember the little people when you hit the jackpot :)